Written by Ellie on September 28, 2009, 08:52:39 AM
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Went in on friday as planned. They were happy with my typing skills etc and then they told me that I can start tomorrow (tuesday)to do the basics of the job and once my C.R.B check comes though i will be able to do the "whole" job. Well that was a bomb shell. I wasn't honest when I was filling in the forms and didn't tell them I was a drug user or that i had a criminal record. I was caught doing chequebooks about 11 years ago and was given probation, then about 10 years ago I was caught with my dealer and charged with conspiracy to supply, which was taken to crown but all charges dropped.
So I then panicked and thought I would just not answer the phone when they ring today and ignore it..... I then thought better of it and emailed the guy who has been helping me to explain that i lied and to apologise. I really want to do this but it seems that no-one will trust me to work in a shop or an office, that leaves dustman or road sweeper..
I want to change my life and show a good example to my wonderful girls but how do I do that??? I feel that there is no point in trying and I might as well go back to what i am good at. the damage was done years ago when i picked up that first piece of tin foil...If someone told me that it would effect you for the rest of your life and you would not be able to change things when you decide to stop, I probably still would have done it, but where do I go now. Do I pick up the phone and be mature about it or hide like I've always done?
I keep crying as its really getting me down, feels like I've hit a brick wall and no-one is giving me that sledge hammer i need. I want to be positive and and I want to think to myself " right, next hurdle" but its so hard.
What now???
2 Comments
Hi Ellie, A few things jumped out at me when reading your blog.
First you need to leave yourself along for a bit as, you seem to give yourself a very hard time over what you did during the years you used street drugs.
Now lets look at the CRB thing with an open mind. At this point you haven't lied you have chosen to not disclose information which in all fairness has been spent under the rehabilitation of offenders act. You get two different kinds of CRB check, a basic check which would not flag up your past conviction for kiting (cheque books) as you got probation which means, your time ''spent'' would have been five years from the end of the probation order. So taking into consideration the offence took place 11 years ago would make it irrelevant to a standard CRB, so no lie there. On the other hand, if you are going to have contact with vulnerable adults or children then the organisation would need to request you go through an enhanced CRB (which is exempt from the rehabilitation of offenders act) . If that is the case, then get in contact with the employers explain you didn't disclose because you were advised you didn't need to disclose the past offence because your time was spent. Then explain the offence you were charged for. The dealing charge was dropped so shouldn't really be an issue. My criminal record is longer than the Old Kent Road but I have never had cautions come up when going through an enhanced CRB. The main issues employers are looking for on an enhanced CRB are sexual offences, offences against vulnerable adults and arson or blatant current criminal involvement. I would say you have nothing to worry about and if the employers make an issue out of minor offence such as cheque book fraud then they aren't worth volunteering your valuable time to in the first place.
It will all work out...
Written by will-con September 29, 2009, 11:47:28 AM
Thank you Will-c you have been a great help, like I have said in my latest update - this blog is great for seeing how far you come and when I read my first one, I can see that in just a small amount of time I have really grown as a person. So thanks again for all your comments, and I hope the training went ok?
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