BERYL"MY APOLIGISES FOR THE OUTBURST"IAN

[froude]

Beryl,

"First of all i apoligise to anyone who i upset yesterday(18/10/07)for my outburst"

Beryl you was very quick to pick up on my mood,"YES!" i have been finding it hard lately ,with the de tox on the benzos ,and my oldest starting to sit on the fence(is going to end up the same way as me,PRISON! ).This week he has come back with a glowing report card .Myself and my partner are as strong as ever,and we are expecting again,hopefully everything will be ok with the baby this time.Since coming out of prison in july 03(longest been out since teens)got myself and my partner a flat,my 13 year old boy from a previous realationship has come to live with us,which has made a massive impact on me and my partners relationship, my son is just like his mother,selfish and has an atitude,and we are not putting up with it FULLSTOP!!but because me and my partner have been through the death of our baby,Hep c interferon treatment,lived with the needles and come out the other end we have deal to with it,anytime before 03 i would of sucked a pipe and had a dig, 40 valium and forgot about it(until i woke up).Since being released from prison in 03 i  have found life difficult ie talking to people in shops,anger  problems,cant even go to the school without feeling paranoid,i am a worrier, and i do know i have nothing to be paranoid  about.My key worker is ok but they have such a heavy work load its hard to see her/him every week.Most of it with the peoiple i used to do drugs with,who i know is in there just because they can get some methadone,so im just having less time because of that .I know its their choice,but at the same time the keyworker knows he or she is getting the p...taken out of. I dont really go out during the week,only shopping and getting my boy to school and back.Both myself and my partner are on dissability,im by no means a recluse but would rather in than out.Beryl iam feeling pretty down at the moment but dont know why ?The way my life is going, is the way i want,just feel things can get on top,i also know that there are people out there in a worse position than me .My apologises again for yesterday,hope you all have a good weekend/half term.Ian frm wilts

[Jules]

Ian
It takes a big person to apologise especially when you're going through a difficult time so respect to you.  Congratulations to you and your partner on your news and I sincerely hope all goes well this time.  You sound like a good person and you're doing really well, long may it continue.
My best wishes to you both.  Have a good weekend.
Julie