Anger Management and Treatment

[froude]

I have now found a Keyworker that is on the same page as me (its taken 7yrs)one part of my treatment is Methadone Maintenence and the other is Anger Management,that i started yesterday,got to admit it was what i thought it would be,triggers,thoughts and what the result. Usually a couple of stones and a couple of bags would be my anger management or go inflict some damage on some muppet dealer and take the lot(i know its out of order,but most of them are pricks and think they are from jamaica,but live in Hereford)the longer my treatment has been and the birth of our daughter,beating up and basically robbing people have now no place in my life but my Anger is still at the forefront of my mind and i am one of those people who isnt a talker and more of a doer,so everyone in the D.S.P and my CPN got together and decided that a good intense session or 6 of  Anger management lessons wouldnt go a miss.Firstly i would like to add my anger is not in anyway taken into my house,my house doesnt have anger we have chats and work things out like most of the population,but when im out with the public its a nightmare,my anger is at boiling point,i have a frown constantly ,people,authority as in the Police ,Traffic Wardens,any kind of authority figure is in my sights,to be blunt im one hell of angry middle aged man ,and dont know why i have a problem with this,well i do it comes from my early years in Care sytem and now i feel i cant live with it anymore as i have a little girl and in the long term it may pass to her ,plus i cant put the misses through it anymore,and most of all I DONT NEED IT.
Everytime there is an incident or was an incident i would go and blow £150 on smack and crack to deal with it or smash somone ,as the years have gone by,i made an concious  effort not to keep running back to the drugs everytime there was an incident,obviously there were times when the pull was just to much and the drugs won ,but over the years the want of drugs have diminished,and now the cravings have gone,and im dealing with my Anger and not having the urge to use(the Methadone Maintenence has a huge part to play in this)so these courses will help me control my anger and hopefully i will be able to deal with it in a rational way(i thought i was),sorry if ive bored you ,but felt that i had to write this as we all have our different ways of going about our treatment ,and this is mine.All the best Froude.

[OP8S]

Nice one mate. There are many of us who have anti-authoratarian views, all sorts of views. But if you felt that your anger might of spilled over into your family life then you're doing the right thing. The first few years of being a parent are the hardest & the ones most likely to put strain on you & your partners relationship. So it can only be a good thing. You don't want Arianna to watch her mum & dad shouting at each other, kids are so perceptive. I'm sure mine can hear through closed doors 
It sounds like you are actually getting some benefit apart from your script, which kept me with the CDT with the counsellor that I got to see. Somebodies actually trying to help with other issues. If I don't get to see the same counsellor again, then I'll just do without. 30mins with a key every month who doesn't even have any counselling qualifications is just a waste of time. By the time I get a coffee he's got about enough time to ask the usual questions along with the  " when you going to reduce" quip. He knows that I have agreed with prescribing GP that I want to stay stable & my prescribing GP doesn't have a problem with that because he knows I function, pay me taxes & am a good little boy. It's in the Guidlines that the decision should be made by myself & prescribing GP, so until I decide that I may prefer to reduce my prescribed methadone I think key should have minimal intervention. Should I or anybody else be reducing or having problems with their substance use he should spring into action like a coiled spring then. Just now I'm just a waste of his timel, I'm recieving MMT & go to a different clinic, well just different days. Some days they have reduction clinics but I waited nearly 1 year to get into the maintenance clinic. So key should really have a pretty good idea that I want maintenance. I will tell the GP if I want to reduce, his input might be needed then. Though I think if I decide that I want to live life opiate free, I'm sure I could just come down myself. Without key, probably just make it worse!
Should the counsellor be willing to take me back on then I will stay with local CDT, just because we knew each other so well & she wasn't afraid to rattle my cage, she knew when to do it & I always left with a weight off my shoulders. Think key had a go at counselling last time I saw him, I felt terrible after. Honestly close to tears, he must of pushed the wrong buttons. A good counsellor though is worth their weight in gold, mine twice her weight ! I can only hope that if she see's me again that things will still be ok, after her recent bereavment & the fact I was so close to the family.