Thinking I need an increase

[li8ertista]

Obviously I was very il and fitting, but rehab as total abstanance - hence wicked withdrawal. That was 3yrs ago. I've since tried various treatments for anxiety and depression. Depression gets really bad from now thru March.  If its like last year I really don't believe I will get thru it.
I'm now on 70mg Meth, and trying for 90mg, at least. But know I won't get it cos apparently you need less as you get older. I moved away from my own area and am not part of any 'scene'. I take what I'm prescibed. Atm I'm on 300mg x 3 Gabapentin and 2.5m x 1mg Olanzapine for anxiety. Serotonin makes me manic, and I get bouts of mania.

Unfortunately, I've been assessed twice for bipolar disorder which comes closest to my symptoms, unless my gaba and opiate receptors have atrophied after 30yrs of use, and I need the meth, and perhaps a 5mg diazepam daily.

My head is so fucked - depression, not-sleeping, moo-swings, and I know from last year that Janury and February are the hardest months - I honestly believe I'm more likely to end it all than struggle on - summers are't much better!

I'm trying to organize a passport to go to Morocco for a cool, but sunny break. I've always raveled and those are the times I don't get a habit - when I'm surrounded by it.

Anyway, could I please talk to anyone who might be able to persuade my psychologist to up my dose to 90mg. I feel far worse than I ever did since my 'detox'. Feels like it damaged me - too fast. I'm 47yrs old now , and I want to feel something again.

Love to you all,  Keith

[Jules]

Hi Keith

Welcome to the forum.  I'm sure you'll find many supportive posters on here who will have experience of some or many of your problems.  I can't advise you on meds but suggest if things are tough you give our helpline a ring on 0845 122 8608.  I'm also not quite sure why your psychologist is prescribing your methadone.

I understand the depressive nature of this time of year which always makes things a lot worse so talking to someone really can help.

Take care mate.

Best wishes

Jules

[usandthem]

Hi Keith,

 I can only second what Jules said but what I can do is offer you some handy links. First thing first you need to talk to someone and NHS Direct have professionals at hand who are very helpful and can give you advice on your troubles.

How to contact your local early intervention service

Ask your GP how to contact your local early intervention service. In some parts of the country, people can self-refer to their local intervention service. Your GP should know if this is the case, or you can search the website of your local mental health trust for ‘early intervention services’ to find out what’s available where you live. Early intervention services aim to see people as quickly as possible. Or speak to Patient Advice & Liason Service (PALS) you can key in your postcode to find your local PALS on mapsearch which is the 3rd link. I wish you all the best and stay in-touch this is a great site for help and advice. Remember there is help out there so don't give up yet. Links are below.

NHS Direct 08454647 ( They phone you straight back)
 
Mind infoline 0300 123 3393 info@mind.org.uk

http://www.pals.nhs.uk/    08009177919

http://www.pals.nhs.uk/officemapsearch.aspx

advice@rethink.org  Email them your problem and they will reply to you with advice

Good luck

John

[derek d j]

I'm now on 70mg Meth, and trying for 90mg, at least. But know I won't get it cos apparently you need less as you get older.

From where does whoever tells you this get their scientific evidence?

I'll wager £5 the answer is they don't. It's to 'encourage you'. Ask their sources. If they provide none, explain how you pay the price of their silly game.

Like Jules, I wonder how correctly you've been diagnosed. Speaking as a satisfied customer, may I also recommend the helpline? Try to laugh till you get to Maroc - anywhichway, from a P.G. Wodehouse read to the absurdity of it all - and good luck to you.  I hope things work out

[simon]

Hi Keith,
Methadone 70ml isn't a massive amount and you are 47 not 97, just a young slip of a thing, you do sound fed-up, give the helpline a call, there's no reason why you can't increase further. You may also find it of use to send Derek some private messages and i'm sure he may be able to offer you some support.

[usandthem]

http://www.rethink.org/how_we_can_help/our_advice_information/index.html    

There you go Keith. I knew there was one missing. If you want to also try this website I am sure that ,as-well as the m-Alliance helpline, they can help you get advise on how you go about getting your methadone upped. The m-Alliance help line service may even advocate on your behalf. I don't see any reason why they should reject you unless you have been on suicide watch but even then the decision should be with your Local PCT commission and not the psychiatrist. I could be wrong though.

John

[OP8S]

I can't add to anything to the above apart from empathy. Depression has been a cloud over my head since childhood, some psychs say bi-polar, some uni-polar I actually preffer just a little on the down side, only because of experience of the manic side & the things you end up doing. Just now I'm sitting in front of sad-lamp which the Mental Health NHS loaned me last year. I used it daily last year with a strict regime of getting up at 6am to sit in front of it, working shifts I thought it was best to do that. I wouldn't want to finish a late-shift & sit in front of it because I did find it made me more alert & positive through the North of Scotland winters.
Maybe it was mind over matter but with that as well as my meds I made it through another winter.
Seems to have come with a thump in October this year, but I'd managed to reduce my ad's, that could be the cause. I know what you mean about the February/ March thing all to well also. I think that it's because the winter has drained you that much, the vitiman D hasn't had time to get into your mind, Grampian region has the highest % of suicide in the UK, that's got to say something eh ?
I've just had my ad's increased though would rather not of had to do so early in the winter, but I was starting to miss work & it would be shit to lose the house from not paying the mortgage because I wasn't getting paid. If I'm going to lose the house by not paying the mortgage I might as well have some fun & go on a bender ! Lose it in a decent manner
Apart from that I think a winter break will be the best remedy, anywhere sunny! Before I had kids I always used to go for a break in January, boost the vitamin D, see somewhere nice. Morrocco was great ( though the misses threw a paddy when she found out I had taken some gear & hash with me.....well, it was Xmas & I didn't want to not take the chance of scoring. More like young & stupid ! )
Anyway I ramble on, ask your GP for an increase again & keep asking. Like Simon said your only 47 not 97, I'm sure even then it would be ok.
Take plenty of good books.
Best wishes.

[li8ertista]

Thanks so much to anyone who's answered. 'm on the case, but it feels ike wading thru treacle trying to get these thins organized. Why?

 Peace and love to you all,  k

[derek d j]

I know what you mean about 'wading through treacle'. Drug users in my town had a problem last year and it took a lot of largely wasted time before we stumbled across this simple solution. In the interests of harm reduction, I pass it on to you now.

(1) Locate telephone.
(2) Dial 0845 122 8608.
(3) Talk to the friendly, probably Irish voice who answers.
(4) Do as the voice suggests.

You can tell us the result when you know it. Peace and love to you, too.

[OP8S]

Thanks so much to anyone who's answered. 'm on the case, but it feels ike wading thru treacle trying to get these thins organized. Why?

 Peace and love to you all,  k

Every tiny little thing can become a mountain when you are at you'e lowest & you sound pretty low just now (?). In my case I just try my best, keeping the mind busy is half the battle sometimes( though don't beat yourself up if you're unable for even that) but it's a viscious circle when you feel so un - motivated. Keep thinking on your winter holiday. Better than a script sometimes.
Take it easy on yourself.

[usandthem]

Keith. Its having no motivation mate. We all get it this time of year, but bp suferrers get it 50Xs worse. Dark and cold winter days and early nights doesn't help to improve bp or depression, and the slightest everyday problem for someone else can be a mountain to climb for depressives. As derek says, Im sure just a couple of well placed phone calls will have this sorted out for you. You may be able to get someone to advocate for you. It sounds like you need to get someone to advocate for you here. Phone the helpline derek has given you and then if no joy, Try all helplines and don't give up and don't put it off. Get it sorted.

[li8ertista]

I got a knock-back on increase, as I need heroin in my system to get it! Does anyone have the Irish ladies e-mail address as she has been excellent and asked me to tell her as soon as I heard from board.

Fuck it

[simon]

I got a knock-back on increase, as I need heroin in my system to get it! Does anyone have the Irish ladies e-mail address as she has been excellent and asked me to tell her as soon as I heard from board.

Fuck it

No they've got that wrong and it's not in the guidelines that you've to use heroin to 'deserve' an increase. They are pretty much saying you've to involve yourself in illegal activity to get evidence based treatment. I think the Irish lady on the helpline will be of use and also your patient advice and liaison service (PALS) they should be available by calling your Hospital switchboard.

[usandthem]

I got a knock-back on increase, as I need heroin in my system to get it! Does anyone have the Irish ladies e-mail address as she has been excellent and asked me to tell her as soon as I heard from board.

Fuck it

Wrong. There is no way any medical professional would say you need heroin in your system to have your methadone upped. They check you initially to see if you do have a heroin tolerance before giving you methadone doses. But not when you are on 70mls. Are you sure you are seeing a registered drug providing clinic? That type of comment would get them fired. Find out about your local (PALS) and speak to them.

[OP8S]

Keith. Its having no motivation mate. We all get it this time of year, but bp suferrers get it 50Xs worse. Dark and cold winter days and early nights doesn't help to improve bp or depression, and the slightest everyday problem for someone else can be a mountain to climb for depressives. As derek says, Im sure just a couple of well placed phone calls will have this sorted out for you. You may be able to get someone to advocate for you. It sounds like you need to get someone to advocate for you here. Phone the helpline derek has given you and then if no joy, Try all helplines and don't give up and don't put it off. Get it sorted.

Thank fuck eveybody else suffering in the depths lacks motivation also, I just beat myself up about being lazy. CPN says to try everyday to go out & just " people-watch ", hope he wasn't meaning dogging ? But yea it works, even if you only get one thing done on your list of things to do. Especially if you're booking a holiday.
Best wishes.
Oh & get that friggin GP to up your meth to where you want. I find within 1/2hour of taking mine the weight starts to relieve itself from my shoulders, nothing like gear but I suppose lasts longer. Best ad around opiates IMO.