Hostels

[maggiem]

Last week my daughter went out to meet some old friends in our old home town and I have not seen her since.  A couple of texts assuring me that all was ok and would be home.  She did not turn up for her assessment for day programme and worse than that has not been picking up her script.  She telephoned and sounded fine, told me that she wanted to sort her life out.  Now I don't know how things work when you suddenly move back to your old town but she said that she was given an emergency script of a much higher dose and found a place in a hostel??!
Obviously I respect her decision and we will help her but I cannot understand why when things were looking up for her and the paperwork was being drawn up to go into detox and rehab(I was there when her key worker said it)
Her telephone call was two days ago and she was coming to get some clothes and essentials but did not turn up.  She has been seen limping on her crutches in the same clothes looking like she needed a good wash.  She has no phone so I cannot contact her.  As she is 25 no one would give me any info due to confidentiality.  I am so worried I don't know what to do.
My questions are-  Can she be allocated a place in a hostel by her treatment provider as quickly as that and the sript, which apparently delivered to the hostel.
And to make matters worse she has told people that we threw her out which is not the case.
Those of you who have read my posts over the past will know of our journey and it is now that I feel that I am hitting my head against a brick wall.
Hope someone can help.
Maggiem

[Lelee]

Hi Maggie

Please try not to worry too much, she might come back, sooner rather than later. 

I suppose it's not uncommon for people to sabotage themselves in any walk of life. No matter how bad someone's life can be it's still their comfort zone.  She has the chance of moving forward and changing and improving everything in her life and maybe this is so overwhelming for her she's retreated to her old life, her old comfort zone, but maybe only for a short while. She's put her toes in the water of the new and had a dabble. It's all still part of recovery. Maybe she's not quite ready, maybe she is.

As for getting immediate access to a hostel and prescription I don't know the answer to that, I think it's unlikely but it depends on how she's presented to services.

Try not to let it get you down Maggie. It must be hard if she's telling everyone you threw her out, but maybe she said this to get a place at the hostel without realising that you wuld hear this and how it would hurt you. I don't think anyone could have done more than you.

I'm doing the help line this afternoon and Beryl thsi morning so if you fancy a chat just give us a call.

Keep in touch,

Linda x   

[lynseyrachel]

hi there maggie, lynseyrachel here xx. It broke my heart to read of yr sadness and heartbreak of the current situation. you must be feeling like you are taking a step forward, then 2 steps back  My dear, SO many ppl here are routing for u and yr daughter, and praying for a happy outcome.
          Lelee's response was very poignent and made many a good point........you, lelee and erinshauna are all in a similar situation and you must continue to draw strength from each other.
Maybe, i feel, when yr daughter went to meetup with old mates in yr previous town, that she initially DID intend it just to be a qwick meet-up, and she has probably been caught-up and swept along with the excitement of the situation, and has stayed much longer than she ever meant to??
             Another maybe might be that she felt like the walls were closing in on her, with her being so close to entering a treatment programme, and she, like many other addicts' train of thought, might have been "right, i'm getting clean soon, so one more 'bender', just for old times sake, with old friends, one last time".............i dunno, i dont know yr daughter, but, i am an addict myself ((shame on me))  and this just might be what she, herself is thinking. it must hurt ALOT when you are being told she has been seen in need of a good wash, her femininity lost...........please dont loose heart!! i know u must feel like 'giving her a good shake' , cos i feel like doing this to myself most of the time. You are not alone, feeling pain and hurt..........i'm going thru SEVERE marital difficulties rite now, and am just crying all the time, and soooooooooooo depressed.......but thats another story for another time, sweetie x as always, maggie, you and yr precious family are in my thoughts and prayers at this challenging time. all my love - ALWAYS, from lynseyrachel xxxxxxxxxxxxx DONT GIVE UP ON GIVING UP ON HER!! ( not that i ever think you wud!! xx) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[willow]

hi maggie
hope you are well there are some great answers here. i just wanted to add that sometimes people with drug habits cannot see into the future and so everything is rather impulsive, i know i have done a few things that had i considered them properly would have seen that it was not the right thing to do.
great advice from lynseyrachelst hope you manage to take time to care for yourself as well as worrying about your daughter.
take care willow

[skroe]

Hi Maggie, Its Just like my Brother, He's seems do be doing well, But then His Ex appers, She has some kind of hold on him, They both have a beautuful daughter, just a baby really, But He always goes back to his old ways, when she's about.
Has she an Ex or some friends that appear, then she go's off the rails..??

Just a thought.

Thanks for the advice you gave me about my own mum..