New start??

[maggiem]

Dear LInda, Erinshauna, February, Lynseyrachel, Hope001,
How the list is growing!!
Well the move went reasonable well, cleansed our souls by getting rid of surplus household things but now are looking for!! Moving from a 4 bed semi in town to a 2.5 terrace iin a village is pretty daunting but we did it on our own.  We sold all our furniture to start afresh, a clean sweep, but we are now living out of suitcases and eating off our laps propably for the next 6 weeks but hey so what!!  Found some good pubs, good walks and a different way of life. Feel happy(ish).
First I must apologise for my negative attitude before, came across as a total arse!!
Got my head together and now feel a bit  mellower!!! (Even my blood pressure is normal, hasn't been for years)
Was worried that daughter would return to old haunts but hasn't. She has asked to be put back on Methadone(subuxone did not help her) and she is much more settled.  KCA here are brilliant and are keen for her to be put forward for residential rehab(won't hold my breath though!) She is fairly stable again on 40ml with no evidence of anything else being used.  She is a much nicer person, not so agressive and appears to be positive about her future, however we are concerned about her forgetfulness and confused state of mind!!  I am also concerned about how we react to her, suspicious of everything, the old saying of cry wolf comes to mind.
We want her to get a part time job to ease the boredom but she is having problems getting employed, 3 A levels, speaks spanish and french, computer literate etc. Maybe its something to do with her arms (scars )she does not see it as we do. Trouble is we live in a university city so competition!
I am worried about the pains that she gets in her legs, sometimes she is unable to walk properly, doc at KCA said it could be DVT and needs to contact GP as this is a problem of  past injecting addicts?   She is worried.
Our new GP practice offers councelling for drug or alcohol dependents or family members and I actually asked, waiting for appointment(3 years down the line but hey ho better late than never).
At the end of the day I am coping  and quite settled(a state of mind) I put a lot of things way back in the back of my head and cope with them when the problem arises!
I have thought a lot about you all whilst being off line, each one of you. You all touch a nerve.
February, a long time responding but I always think of you (dance and music)!!
Erinshauna, your thoughts mean so much, hope you are ok?
Hope001, have read your posts on  FA and felt an affinity with you.
Linda, always good advice, contacts, hope you are coping.
Sorry this is drawn out but it is therapy!
Take care everyone,
Maggie

[erinshauna]

Hellooooooooooo Maggiem  What a great post,you really do sound a bit refreshed and I am envious of you living in a village,I can almost hear the birds and smell fresh grass.I never thought you had a negative attitute Maggiem,I always read your posts and I identified with so much of what was happening for you and your family. I really do understand your thoughts  now of being ever suspicious as I feel like that towards my daughter,in fact I have been trying to call the drug project she has been attending for several months now as she informed the Social worker yesterday that she has been discharged from their care,I find this pretty alarming as one of the conditions of her having her daughter returned to her is that she must be off all drugs for 1 year before that could happen yet she continues to smoke skunk every day and has been drinking heavily.She has been waiting for more than a year now to go into rehab but no word yet.Gosh Maggiem I was trying to keep this post about you and there I have gone into my daughter's stuff again.
I cant say I know anything about DVT but I do know that my daughter had terrible pains in her legs and arms after she stopped taking heroin,my daughter smoked heroin but I dont know if symptoms of withdrawel would differ in one who injects or smokes.I often worry that the pain people go through can be what takes them back to using again so I hope your daughter can receive the help she needs to be in less pain.3 years is a long time to wait Maggiem,perhaps when you have settled more there maybe other alternatives in the area who can offer support.I just wish for you all you wish for yourself and nothing but happiness comes your way.

[lynseyrachel]

WELCOME BACK!!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Lelee]

Hi Maggie

You do sound very refreshed. All very good feng shui getting rid of 'baggage' that no longer serves you. (Not being rude about your furniture by the way)

I did it once back in 1999, I sold my house and everything in it, all my past, lightened my load and went out to Australia with one suitcase and that was all I owned in the world. It was liberating not to own anything, that's when I realised that possessions can actually own us. 

You have never been negative Maggie, I'm not sure why you think that, your posts just sounded how you were: a stressed, concerned mother. it's good to hear that your daughter has found what treatment suits her and is stable. It's also good to know that KCA are encouraging her regarding rehab.

I've heard that KCA also offer family therapy Maggie so that may be an option you could consider instead of waiting years for counselling. As you say it can be a difficult dynamic after trust has been compromised.

Let us know how your daughter gets on with the pains in her legs and what the GP says, and how things are with you.

Take care

Linda x

[maggiem]

Hello all,
Well the sun is shining and I have been busy planting in our small garden, trying to put some colour and identity into a boring space.  I find this very theraputic, pottering about not really knowing what I am doing, I manage to switch off. Must be getting old as I am enjoying the simple things in life, don't ask for a lot really.
Recieved letter about counselling today, about a 4 week waiting list which isn't too bad. Don't really know what to expect but I have a lot of mixed feelings floating about in my head that i want to sort out.
Certain things have been bothering me, I am becoming very distant from my daughter, almost indifferent and I don't like it.  I don't believe or trust her and worse still I resent her(awful isn't it?)  She has and will be the first to admit it, a bloody good lier. She has an answer for everything.  
She was given a last warning about things a few weeks ago, we were finding needles, swabs, bottles of lemon juice, a tub of bicarb of soda etc., it was one of the reasons we moved, how silly!  Things settled, think she was scared that we meant it this time, she assured us that we would not find anything in the future.  Well today found items in a carrier bag that she had used and absent mindly left along with a text asking for some gear!!
We will help her if she is honest but I think sometimes that we are enabling her, she does not work, she lives in a safe environment. The only money we give her is for the bus but she comes back with clothes and shoes that have been bought for her!!
Oh she is saying that her room is haunted, (her last one was too) I know she has problem sleeping but I thought this was  normal not paranormal
What do we do? I am at a loss.  We have said that tough love does not come into it but I am begining to wonder?
You know even though I have written this I am surprisingly calm and still feel that this move was a very good thing.
Advice please
Thanks, Maggie x

[lynseyrachel]

hi maggie, my dear, i was happy to see that youve posted again!! xx I'm glad to hear yr enjoying some gardening - yes, i agree that the simple things in life ARE therapeutic, food for the soul, i call it!! Maybe you could suggest to yr daughter that you BOTH go to the garden centre for a look around and maybe a few purchases for yr new garden? I'm taking a guess that she usually wudnt be interested with activities like this, but, she wud enjoy it once she is there and it will maybe help because, thats all part and parcel of recovery - getting back to feeling pleasure from everyday activities and small outings. Do YOU think its a good idea? You know yr daughter better than me! Maggie....if you dont mind, my dear, may i ask you a few questions? How old is yr daughter ( i'm 30) and how long has she used heroin for? (ive used for 9 years) How and when did it first come to yr attention that she was using drugs? Did you catch her at it, did she  admit it out of the blue or did you simply just put two and two together, and realise because of changes in her behaviour etc?? Sorry to ask so many questions!! Either way, whichever way you found out, it must have been horrible for you, and STILL is. Im SO sorry you are still suffering somewhat, you BOTH are. Yr both suffering at the hands of the evil grip heroin has, but in very different ways.((((HUGS TO YOU MAGGIE!!)))) xxxx. The hopes and dreams we have for our children are as strong as the ones we have for ourselves, and it can be JUST as devastating....if not MORE so, when this isnt acheived. I know this is not what you dreamt of when you were pregnant with her, all those years ago, I know this isnt what you expected as you were raising her and she was growingup, i know this isnt what you want for her. You always think its not gonna happen to you or your loved ones............and when it does, yr left thinking " why the hell me and my precious family?"  This isnt a 'place' where you thought you'd be at, is it? If my mum ever found out i was a heroin user she would be devastated and it wud destroy her. Even after 9 yrs of not using, NOONE knows i use, Maggie. I dont want anyone to know. I couldnt take the shame. I'm lucky enough that i'm financially stable, which means i never have to steal, borrow continuously or stuggle. I'm never ' ill' because i am too skint to 'score' etc. All in all, I am yr 'normal', average 30 yr old lady. BUT I'M ADDICTED TO HEROIN. I'm NOT 'normal'. I have to pretend to people that I AM. I HATE it. Do you know what i really like and respect about you, Maggie? You dont judge me. You dont judge any of us who come on here, which, in your situation, wud be very easy to do. And I thankyou for that. It means so much, y'know. When you are in town, and out and about, do you ever look at all the women, in their sharp tailored suits and high heels, out on their lunch break and wish and wonder why that couldnt have been your daughter?Wish that she'd be calling round after work for a cuppa and a catchup? I'm asking because I feel like that and look at other women and wish i was them!! I look at their sucess and wish i couldve been different. In my case, its my fault and i brought it on myself, but in yr case, Maggie, its been forced upon you and youve just had to try and deal with it, whether you like it or not. But that doesnt mean theres no hope for me............or yr precious daughter. We are just gonna have to work at it and put some real effort it, just like all o drug users have to do. I hope you havent minded me asking so many questions or saying what ive said. I may be speaking out of turn, but for you, i feel that because things have been as they have for so long now, youve begun to think that feeling how you do and living like you are ( on eggshells), is the norm. But, Maggie, i have a feeling that things are slowly but surely turning themselves round. Some days will be good, some will be not so good, but you sound like yr both on yr way to a better way quality of life........obviously this is gonna take ALOT of determination and co-operation off yr daughter, but hey!! REMEMBER - one day at a time. When things feel bad, nip it in a bit and take it an hour at a time, even minute by minute if needed. Ok, M aggie, my wrists are aching off the typing so im gonna go and have a cuppa and a choccy biscuit (lol) but i just wanted to ask one more thing...........can you tellme a bit more info on why yr daughter thinks her room and her previous room is/was haunted? do you think its paranoia of some kind or do you think that she may be right?? im asking cos my daughter (13) is experiencing some really wierd things and thinks there is a ghost in her room and is absoloutly terrified...........and, she dosent know it, but shes scaring me, too!!!SO, i dunno WHAT to do!!! anyway, im off for that cuppa!! you keep going Maggie, keep yr head held high and keep yr chin up, Mrs Bravey, lol!! lots of love, hugs (NOT drugs) and kisses from LynseyRachel xxxxxxxx

[Lelee]

Hi Maggie

I can relate so well to your post. It would be much easier to respond verbally to your post and I'm doing the help line today so call if you get a moment. It will be interesting to read different perspectives because I'm sure we would all say different things and you could pick whatever resonates with you at the moment.

I would say that your feelings of detachment are quite usual and probably one of the coping mechanisms you've learnt to deal with your situation. I think our emotions go through a myriad of changes from when first discovering our loved ones are using illicit substances. Experimenting is one thing but them becomming dependent is every parents nightmare.

There's shock/trauma, disbelief, desperate worry, coming to terms with the situation, (you could say acceptance) and then resignation. With the resignation comes learning to co-exist with the problem and carry the load in the best way we can. There can be a lot of negative emotion when and if being lied to and feeling used and taken for a fool. Trust is precious and so sad to lose. I think we learn not to panic and to distance ourselves too as a means of self protection. We have to carry on and live a normal life as possible after all.

Sometimes I think our loved ones tell us what they think we want to hear and hide the extent of their problem. There's also the issue around privacy too. Just because someone is using illicit substances doesn't mean that they have to forego their right to privacy. I find myself sometimes being far more invasive in my son's life than I should be.....but then again I'm the one who usually has to pick up the pieces.

It's good to ask ourselves if we're contributing to the problem and being an enabler The dynamics within a family can become distorted when someone is dependent on substances. To be honest Maggie there's no set answer here. We all have boundaries and each particular to our own families.

 I remember one mother who'd lost her son to an overdose telling me never to give up on my son, to always be there for him and me thinking 'but it's so hard'. I've also been told by another friend in the past, who didn't have any children but whose partner was dependent on alcohol and she was an avid twelve stepper, that I was enabling my son and that I should to throw him out of my home and let him hit rock bottom. I told her that he could die if I did that and she said he could die if I didn't. That didn't sit right with me.

I think one of the most important things we can do as parents and carers is to educate ourselves as much as possible about drugs, treatment options, relapse, harm minimisation, etc. not panic and speak to others in the same situation. it can help with the associated stigma and isolation. I talk openly about my son to others because I'm not ashamed of him. I don't call him a heroin addict, but someone who has an opiate dependency. I'm not proud either of what he's doing, he's self harming as far as I'm concerned but then so do others by degrees who smoke and drink copious amounts of alcohol. Just why are these killer drugs legal? (I stopped smoking after 35 years on 2nd Feb this year.) No wonder our young are confused and cynical.

Anyway Maggie, it's important to keep the lines of communication open as I'm sure you know, you sound like a very caring mother. Where on earth is she getting these new clothes and shoes from? How is she getting them?  What drugs is she taking now and how is she taking them? Like you say, it's impossible to work with and help someone unless they're truthful and you know what you're dealing with.
Relapse is part of the recovery process

Take care and make sure you look after yourself,.

Linda x

[maggiem]

Many thanks to both of you for your replies,
"What a difference a day makes" I found myself singing, is an old song I think? So true.  Daughter came home late last night and came in to see me to chat(husband is on nights), tried to reassure me that she isn't injecting and to say that she is entitled to her personal space.  Linda you are correct it is hard not to be too invasive, I have to stop myself probing too deep. She said that she loved me and although she says it often this time it soaked deep in and I felt so so sorry for her. The clothes are gifts and she said she was not going to say no!
This morning she cleared all incriminating bits and said it was old stuff anyway, not sure!
LynseyRachel, its fine to ask questions, does not bother me at all, its lovely to chat to someone who understands but from a different perspective.
Daughter is now 25 and has been using for about 5 years. We had our suspicions after she left home but soon it was obvious that something was seriously wrong, no pride in her appearance, restless, weight loss etc. I asked her so many times and she denied it but even so I never once thought it was Heroin.  Her relationship with boyfriend broke down and she asked to come home just before christmas 3 years ago, on boxing day at a family do she confided to her aunt and she broke the news to us on new years day!!  The following year was simply awful and it is something I would hate to go through again.  She is a much better person now, the aggression has gone.
Why have you never told anyone? Don't  you think that you are taking on a huge weight to carry? You sound so witty and upbeat and very caring.  My daughter said she felt so ashamed and did not want to tell me but I am glad she did.
Yes I do look at people and wonder what their lives are like but I suppose they look at me and wouldn't dream that I have a recovering addict for a daughter who has lost her way in life. We all make decisions at some time that are wrong, I look at it as walking down a country lane and meeting a crossroad, walk down one and its the wrong direction, turn back until to find the right path.  I have been there many a time believe me!!
As to the things happening in her room, I have thought that it maybe paranoia but my other daughter "sees things "too and I used to,  so I am leaning towards believing her.  In fact tonight we will be seeing a medium.  Will let you know how it goes.  She has been prodded, spoken to, sat on and generally disturbed by something or someone, the dog starts getting aggitated too.  I don't think its the house because it happened in the old one too and I don't think its bad.  I am not too bothered and I am easily spooked!
There have been so many coincidences occuring since our move and I am positive it was meant to happen. Have since found out that a lot of my decendents(as far back as 1467) have originated from this village and local area! 
Any how enough of that, can almost see the raised eyebrows and hear the sucking of teeth!!!
What happens with your daughter?
Linda, sorry but I did not read your message till late so could not call.  You help so much by just being there, all of you do.
Thankyou, Love
Maggie x

[lynseyrachel]

my dear Maggie, thankyou for yr heartwarming reply, it meant a lot to me xx Again, thankyou for not judging me.........thats what stops me telling ppl,- i am too ashamed, and yes!! it IS a big burden to carry on my own, especially for 9 years, but i am STILL who i am. I am STILL lynseyrachel, whether i smoke herion or not, and i know that if ppl found out, i wud no longer be just simply lynseyrachel............i wud be lynseyrachel the smackhead, lynseyrachel the druggie, lynseyrachel the no- hoper. And all of those things I AM!! its just that i dont want anyone else knowing that, too!! So, i just plod on, y' know. Its the only way i know how. Anyway, enuf of me piling my emotional baggage onto you, u got enuf on yr plate.............but im soooo glad things are looking up4u!! like leelee sed, relapse is part of recovery xx I am gonna send you a private message to tell you about my own daughters experience with thinking her room is haunted..........as its a bit off-topic and personal, so keep yr eyes out for a private message.............i have to nip out now and will send it to you later!! good luck with the medium and letme know how you go. keep smiling maggie...........yr one of the good 'uns!! as always, with love from lynseyrachel xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[debs]

Hi LynseyRachel,

Ive seen a lot of your posts on here recently and just thought I would say hello. I feel that I could have alot in common with you as other than my partner,nobody knows about me on my methadone script. I also have a child a 10 year old boy and I would hate for him to find out. I take it your daughter doesn't know or perhaps she does? I find it quite easy to conceal my habit as i just take the stuff in the morning and sometimes a bit more later on. I would think it must be more difficult to conceal a heroin habit with all the tinfoil, paraphenalia and smell etc. Dont you live on tenderhooks all the time thinking that someone's going to walk in on you booting? My partner has never taken drugs and is very anti. He tolerates the methadone as he thinks of it as a medicine(which it is) and it never has any real effect on our family ie i dont spend all our cash on drugs and i never am out of it. To all outward appearances I think I seem normal,well relatively! I know your partner is not happy with what you're doing. I can imagine it causes a lot of arguments and tensions in your house. Does he resent  all the money that you spend on it etc? From reading all your previous posts, i would be interested to know how you got involved in all of this because none of your friends do this ie drugs and i just was curious as to your story. Hope you dont mind me asking but i am a nosey cow!
Take care,
Debs

PS After your recent stint in hospital are you all better?

[skroe]

Maggiem, I do feel for you, and read all your posts with interest, I look up to you in a way, Good ways.
My Mum found out all in one week that a was an addicted and Injecting, She blamed her self, I told her It was'nt in any way due to her or my up bringing.

But shes deeply shameful of my addiction, She did'nt want to know me while I was using. She was afraid of what her sisters and Family would think and say.

I get on great with her I'm on the methadone, but shes so worried that her sister's will find out. She dont want me to call while they visit.
My uncle is having a surprise party for his birthday next week. Yesterday she told me that if I go she don't want to see me drink!!
I know deep down she's ashamed of me being on methadone. She's worried that If I drink I will slip out that I'm on methadone or something..
She lives in a kinda shell, And what she see's on TV she thinks its fact. Eg soap operas etc.
My Dad's more open, She just don't understand and dont want to it is embarrassing to her. My Brother is still using heroin. In fact it was his Girlfriend that told her about my addiction.   
My sister uses weed-skunk everyday, she don't know about that. 

I know that some of my aunties know about my problems, They have had sons my whom have had-have addictions to hard drugs, My cuz, turned me on to heroin. He's been to prison so many times.
I just wish she would open up..

Thats why I find your openness refreshing Maggiem, and Lelee for that matter, I hope Everything turns out for the better..
Kevin..

[maggiem]

Dear Kevin
Thanks for taking time out to reply, it is encouraging and very welcomed.
I read about other peoples lives and it often amazes me about how little we know about what goes on behind closed doors and minds.  Even when I am feeling a bit down and think that I have got it hard I have to tell myself no you have it quite easy really!!
You talk about your mum and that she is ashamed of you, I don't think she is. Mothers have dreams and hopes for our children, we want the best and when the best does not happen we question ourselves.  I still wonder if it was me that did something wrong along the way, was I too pushy, too strict, a push over. But shit happens and you have to deal with it in what ever way you can.  Our family members know about  my daughter, I told them but I would hate it if our new neighbours found out.  Its not that I am ashamed of her its just I  know more about Heroin, crack, methadone than the people down the street, they would make their own assumptions about her in a negative way and I would hate that.  OK she has made some huge mistakes but she is still a lovely young woman(sometimes very irritating)!!
It is a very difficult thing to come to terms with and your mum has gone through a mixture of emotions I am sure, from denial to total warts and all realisation.  And I am sure you feel  the same.
Well  now an update on her progress!!
Remember the fall down the stairs episode, well twice she fell and apart from a cracked nose and bruising she was mending well.  But  the bad gear scared the living daylights out of her and she has been quite good of late.  Funny thing is she managed to fracture her knee cap by running away from a moth!!!  Her metal strap on her handbag hit her knee.  She is now limping around with her leg in a full cast and crutches (for 6 weeks).  As you can imagine it caused a lot of problems with collecting her script being on supervised.
Hey ho, you have to laugh!!!
Love Maggie

[skroe]

Thanks Maggiem, Your a Gem, and such a strong Mother, Women. With your own worrys you write about my Worrys, I fully understand know why my Mother Thinks how she does.

I have a few worrys with my Brother, I'm so sure he's using again. We held an event last week-end, with 60 plus Graffiti Artists, we had Rap music, he loves that kind, I'm a house head myself, old veteran from the Acid house era, its still alive, with a pick up on raves again.
I'm worried About him,

I'll paste why..
The heart velve problem mentioned in the last post is bacterial endocarditis. I got this after shooting up using tap water. Even when boiled tap water can still contain many quite nasty bacteria. I ended up having heart surgery and my valve replaced and was in hospital for 7 months. And it's not as uncommon as many people seem to think. So be careful out there folks!
G.

You Know what my Bro, Me and his Misses, Well the stayed at me flat for 6 months, It was me having to get gear, missions etc, I'd but all my money in, They would put money in, put only when they got paid, (fortnightly) What they do, I would come home She would what to cook it!!, I don't know why I let her, she would spill it, That happened a few times, Their Injecting Habits where poor, They would lick the pin!!, Use old filters, old water, they where too lazy to get up and boil the kettle..Sadly I went along, sometimes but in the start, but then I begun to use fresh water, kettle water or boiled on the gas hob for 5 mins.. The reason I didn't cook up I was new to it at the time, I then found out The gear I was bringing home the would not use it all, just sprinkle around 3 quarters of the gear in, and keep the rest, As I was getting around 6-8 bags to keep us going, they must of saved up loads for there night-time hit.
They where so sly, and left me in pure debt to pay dealers when they went!!
Anyway I've not seen my bro for a while it was about 2 months ago, he had loads of subutex, he used to sniff em, I asked him wtf he was doing with them, He told me He was sealing them!!, I think hes back with his misses, man she will come up pure nice when you meet her, but behind your back she will screw you bad.
Anyway My Bro used to get real bad chest pains, to the point I would phone up the paramedics, One time he went to his doctor, he was in hospital for over a week having tests, He seemed to be clean then and not with his misses, They found out something to do with his heart!!, he was cagey about it,
They have a beautiful daughter between them, her mum has her, because she spread lies about my parents my mum and dad, so they don't get to see her!!
She has a strange hold on my Bro, I reckon they are using again for sure, He was in a nice hostel waiting for a new flat, But he left that!!, He's says thats he's in Swansea looking after his daughter texting my dad but never phones or answers his phone, prob because hes nowhere near his daughter and using with her, she will soon throw him out on the street again, then he will come back with know where to go!! apart my mums..

I really didn't think it was this serious, I'm going to have to tell my Dad!! They are dirty when they use, plus he thinks he has some super tolerance, because he injects..His misses is a full time liar, I'll never have her here again, I found out they stayed at my flat because they owed money from there area.. She told her mum I had her stealing from Tesco everyday!, They never left my house!! They had People after em!!

He's got to get away, other wise hes going to head up in hospital having open heart surgery like you garstang!!, or worse, Cheers, I think Simon said to me about the heart illness..I'll Phone my dad!!

Thanks...Kevin!!, I'm pure worried now, Its her though, if she tells him to jump, he's how high!!  I'll post this in carers corner too..   

I'm sure you can relate to this. Its just horrid, I'm doing ok on my Methadone, I'm clean apart from the odd relapses, which are rare thankfully.. I'm waiting to go up an extra 10 mils, just to feel more comforbale and get the cravings I've been getting.
I really hope things sort out with your daughter.
I have Some Canvases to paint now, off to work a go, it do help painting, and doing graffiti murals, that where once on trains lol, but I'm to old for that these days..land having arthritis dont help..lol..
Has your daughter any hobby's, or skills she could use in treatment?

take care..kevin.. 

[maggiem]

Hi everyone,
Daughter still gone, 3 weeks now although she has phoned twice and text briefly in the past week.  She first phoned to say she had found a place and was ok, not on drugs and felt very ashamed!!!!  Next was to come and collect some clothes- never came. Last text was that she was ok and told us that she loved us.
Someone she met before she left has text us to say she is ok and would let us know if there was a problem, but at moment she is not too bad but short of clothes! Considering she left to meet a friend and would be back later in the evening 3 weeks ago in one set of clothes I am wondering how she is and coping financially.
If she wants to do it alone then I respect her decision but I have not been able to talk to her at any length about her situation, financial, housing, mentality, treatment.
One week is ok, two weeks a respite for us but three this is  reality and i am concerned for her as a daughter that is on the edge!! She said that we were making it too easy for her and she had to stand on her own feet for a change, wanted to get off the drugs and find her life again. Not knowing where she is apart from our old town is is she safe, off the drugs, knee ok(missed fracture clinic) eating ok and how on earth is she coping without clothes!!!
Terrible feeling, nice that she is away, guilty that she is, the pain goes on.
Maggiem

[Lelee]

Hi Maggie

Thanks for keeping us updated. Do you have any more news? Nobody tells us when we have children what it's going to be like do they? That we worry about them for life, no matter what their age. It's not as if there's a cut off point, like say when they get to 30 or something.

At least your daughter knows that if things get really bad for her she can come home and that you're there for her. Not everyone has the luxury of that and have noone to turn to.

Thinking of you Maggie and hope you're okay, hope your daughter is too and that you've heard more from her.

Linda x