Chat

[rembs]

Hi everyone I'm new on here and just thought I would quickly introduce myself . I am 42 years old and have been using now for more than 20 years I came across this site purely by chance yesterday and was pleased to see that the members seem to speak my language and there are quite a few topics which i would like to contribute to. I was interested in the topic about co dependency as my partner and i have been together for 10 years now and have 2 lovely little girls so for us it does work although i have also had more negative experiences which i will write about under the correct thread eventually. Anyway a little more about myself. I am currently on 60mls of methadone daily by daily pick up due to my constantly giving in positive piss tests as I still use almost daily normally its just one £10 bag a day which I don't think is excessive, anyway my CDT sees fit to punish me in this way which really pisses me of as I could really do with having it early in a morning so I'm good to get my children ready and off to school each day but they don't see it like that. I feel that at the moment I'm doing OK I manage to hold down a part time job which I have been doing for 3 years now and I provide a loving and clean environment in which to bring up my girls. It has not always been this way though and over the years i have had a terrible time with social services intervening and have also been to prison once for 3 and half years for a drug related crime. i would be interested to hear the experiences of other women users and how they cope with day to day life with a habit and trying to provide a good environment to bring up their children.

[Laura1973]

Hi Al,

I am also a newbie but my story is a little different.

I came across this site when I was looking for info for 2 relatives of mine to get off Subutex. This of course was as a result of them both using Heroin for many years and then being prescribed it for a while. When they moved house (the c-dependancy thread will be interesting as they are a couple and live together) they didn't register with a new GP, stopped going tot heir old one and therefore had to by Subutex off the street.

Since Easter 2010 one of them has made a concerted effort to get off the gear but has failed. Just before Christmas he moved out to get clean on his own. I gave him my Oramorph and MST which I know isn't the same but kept him going for a while and made sure he didn't have to buy gear from dealers when he didn't know what he was getting.
Now both of them are going through Detox 5. It's costing a small fortune but will hopefully be worth it. They come home today so I'm trying to help tidy up at home for them both.

My own story is not quite the same...........................

I have a dodgy left knee which has resulted in many operations. The last major surgery I had resulted in me waking up after the anaesthetic with a pain condition called RSD (Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy) or CRPS (Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome).  The only treatment I was offered was a Spinal Cord Stimulator which hasn't had good results/reviews and and I didn't want someone messing with my spine (Maybe I'm a wimp).

So I refused this course of treatment and agreed to pain killers. Nothing worked until I got to the level of taking 100mg MST 2xdaily and drinking approx 300ml Oramorph (10mg/5ml) every day. This didn't get rid of the pain but reduced it a little bit to the point where I could function as a normal human being.
When the pain got worse Iended up also taking Lyrica - an anti-convulsant which is used for deep rooted nerve pain. This helps with the pain too but taking hte maximum allowed dose of 300mg 2xdaily turns me into a zombie most days so holding down a job is damn near impossible.

So since early 2006 I have been taking these drugs and am now addicted to them. I'm hopeful that people here can help me with this. I'm hopeful that I can stop taking these drugs in time but RSD has no cure. It may go into remission itself but will never really go away. Unless this happens, I can't stop or even reduce the drugs. If I do, there isn't an alternative (so I'm told) that will have the same effect on the pain as this combination for prescribed medications.

So that's me and why I'm here. Hope I didn't bore anyone too much.

Laura xx

[froude]

Hi ya all,im back again its been ages.Hope everyone is ok, BIG hello to Beryl.Sorry aint been here, loads of shit happening moved house same county different town its ok a bit clicky,Jo my partner has come home after 10 years.Plus ive been in hospital,so has jo.After 8 years still on the same script 55mil of meth and 40 mil valium daily,oh and my citalopram 40mil .Anyway good to see new people on here keep it going.Im off,take care everyone all the best

[Jules]

Welcome back Froude!  We've missed you - glad you're ok and look forward to hearing more from you.

All the best

Jules

[froude]

Cheers Jules,
Good to see your still about,hopefully give some of my wisdom ha lol.
Cheers jules hope you had a good easter,and to everybody on /at Alliance
 froude.

[purplehearts]

Hey rembs, good to hear from you glad you found your way here. there's some really decent people here and like you say they talk sense you dont often hear, its so refreshing.
I have kids like you, and am looking to get back into work now. How do you find working with the kids and everything? I have held down a job with a habit for ages before, but not whilst I had kids.
My personal belief is that you can be a good enough parent whilst you have a drug habit. It's true not everyone manages it, but there are many many people who manage to live fairly normal lives and provide loving, decent homes for their kids whilst they have a habit. It's fustrating that a lot of services think having a history of drug dependence automatically makes you an awful parent.

I have found it upsetting the way I have been spoken to as someone on methadone with kids by health visitors, midwives, doctors etc. As soon as people know I am on methadone their attitude towards me completely changes and its like they are constantly looking for signs that I am a crap mother. Like my health visitor asked to look around my house on her first visit, another health visitor asked me if I knew my babys bottles needed to be washed, a doctor assuming my kids were in care just because im on methadone and then acting shocked and disapproving when i stated they lived with me, when ive been in hospital with the kids I've had endless members of staff asking disapprovingly why I don't have a social worker or why I am still on methadone or why I am on such a 'high' dose.... etc etc I've had to swallow my pride and be pleasant and co-operative but sometimes its killed me to do it!! Now, after a few years of always being cooperative and polite and giving clean drug tests it's like they are finally starting to trust me and I have a good relationship with most of them but its taken a lot of work to get to that point.

If you have any problems with your drug service, dont hesitate to call the alliance helpline they are brilliant, so helpful and can give you advice on fighting decisions or treatment you feel are unfair.

Well, welcome to the board anyway x